I let my fear get the best of me today. Something felt off and I began to panic late this morning. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor—I just needed to hear the heartbeat. •••••••••• I vividly remember the drive to L&D the day we discovered Rawley was gone. Traffic was horrendous. [I often think if I wouldn’t have gotten stuck in traffic if he would be with us today. But I know in my heart this isn’t the case. He had passed the night before.] I innocently thought everything was fine and I would just go in, because you know, “better safe than sorry”. @daynabfitness and I talked on the way there and everything was going to be fine. For sure. •••••••••• It wasn’t fine. I knew the moment the nurse couldn’t find the heartbeat with the belly monitor. •••••••••• I’ve now had 4 checkups with this baby and every time I get in my van and drive to the office, I find myself thinking, ‘This could be it. This could be the day they tell me everything is not fine’. •••••••••• Today, I’m happy to report, EVERYTHING IS FINE 🙌🏻🙏🏻. They were kind enough to do a full ultrasound. Not only did I see baby’s little heart beating, I saw he or she wiggling all over the place, perfect little hands and feet. Tears streaming down my face. •••••••••• Fear is the worst and I let it consume me today. It’s a daily practice these days for me to lean into my faith. Tomorrow is a new day and I’m grateful we get to start each day anew.